Spoiled Brat

Imma tell you guys right now, I’m a spoiled brat.¬†Yeah, I am. And aint proud.

But don’t get me wrong, I work my ass off and deal with many levels of stress that come from work, school, and more side work. I feel guilty many times for expecting things a certain way, and when I don’t get it… hoooo I throw a fit. I have a very sensitive defense mechanism trigger that goes from 0 to 100 in a split second.

Imagine me as an octopus that squirts ink as a defense mechanism… that person who I feel is threatening me right now.. will die from ink poisoning. Lets just put it that way.

This person is often Tai. Only because he’s a strong opinionated individual that challenges my every opinion. This is not in a bad context. This is how he is. This is how I am.

I never thought I’d be with someone and feel like they love me more than I love them. It’s always been me, I’ve always been the one that loves more, cared more, and sacrificed more (or at least I thought so). I am a headache, and I know it. Instead of him pushing me away or resulting in loud arguments, he spends the time to try and understand why I feel the way I feel. I think he actually finds an interest¬†in understanding me and my sometimes outrageous reactions and feelings. This is amazing to me. He is the example of that quote from A Walk to Remember, “Love is patient, love is kind..” I know, corny. Whatever.

He never makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. When I do feel like there’s something wrong with me, it’s my own doing and thinking.

Today is Valentine’s Day, and he went out and bought something for me. He never does this… this surprise thing. I thought we were just going to have dinner, and I was happy with that because he’s the one that made the reservations (I always make the reservations any other day). He even made time to get me a cute card.

& last year, I did the whole Valentine’s thing. He didn’t get me anything. hahah. I was mad he didn’t even get me a card! This year, it was me that didn’t make time to do something for him! Hypocrite. I know.

He’s always been a great loving boyfriend, but lately, it’s like… he’s truly put me first. I can see it. He cares so much for me. He’ll move his car just so I can have parking when I come over, but he won’t even tell me he did it for me. But I caught on ;). He’ll try to knock out all his school work throughout the weekdays so that we can have at least one weekend night to ourselves. If I want to eat out, we will eat out. If I want to do anything, he will make it happen in an instant.

It’s a crazy feeling, knowing someone loves you inside out, flaws + all.

besides your family.

Spoiled Brat